-------- Original Message --------
Subject: [NavWarGames] Fwd: USS Constitution To Return To Active Duty
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2007 11:46:02 -0400

In case you missed this.........

Begin forwarded message:

For Immediate Release

The USS Constitution, thoroughly modernized, is being returned to active duty as part of the United States war on terror.

For the last 4 years, the US Navy has been quietly, and secretly, modernizing the USS Constitution, at 200 years old, the oldest active duty ship in the fleet.

"Those old builders really had a lot of foresight", said Navy Secretary Donald Winter. "Who would have thought that a ship designed for close in combat, prior to the advent of steel ships, propellers, big guns, submarines, cruise missiles, and combat aircraft would be so ideally suited for today's waters."

But computer simulations showed otherwise. From 1998 to 2002, the US Navy operated a secret program, SIMNAV, designed to evaluate the form factors and construction of various ships against various threats. This simulation factored in a number of terms, including survivability from various threats, damage control, and weapons systems.

"We threw in Old Ironsides, almost as a joke, but we were amazed at how well she fit into the modern battlespace," continued Winter.

SIMNAV showed that the wooden hull was particularly adept at absorbing radar waves, and, her continually flapping canvas sails reflected those waves seemingly at every direction but her would be pursuer. "Of course, wood floats, so you can't really sink her," added Winter, ironically echoing a 150 year old argument made by veterans of wooden ships when iron constructed vessels first came on line. "It turns out that she can darn near survive everything thrown at her... MK-48s, the new Soviet Mach 2 missile, and, because she has no engine or screws, she's virtually undetectable by submarines."

Of course, modern technology does have its place.

"We've replaced the old broadside with some modern tools," added Navy Program Manager Charles Shrike. The refitted USS Constitution will set sail with an array of firepower that her original builders could not even imagine. "We've removed most of old cannon and added missile systems across the board." Thus equipped, the USS Constitution will be able to engage enemy targets at standoff distances nearly equal to that of the troubled DD(X) program, but at a fraction of the cost. A small number of the original cannon were kept, but upgraded. Instead of old chain shot or balls, these muzzle loaders will now be firing GPS guided rocket assisted smart munitions.

The USS Constitution, because of her shallow draft, will be a perfect littoral vessel. It's rumoured that she will be equipped with compliment of Marines, allowing her to deploy soldiers quietly, at night, directly near beachheads, while providing excellent fire support.

Other Navies are said to be impressed by the modernized USS Constitution's results. First Sea Lord Sir Jonathan Band is said to be ready to announce plans to upgrade the HMS Victory. This would give the Royal Navy the upper hand over her American ally for the first time since the 1930s. "After all," said one British staffer, who preferred to remain anonymous, "the Constitution is only a Frigate, and the Victory is a First Rate Ship of the Line!"



released April 1 2007.... let me note......